At Ease

by Jack Webster

 

THE WEATHER HAS been great but it does not compare to the compassion and concern shown to Edna and myself. The many cards, words of comfort, offers of assistance and prayers for both of us are appreciated more than words can express. Edna has adapted well to her new surroundings, made several new friends and appears healthier than she has for some time. She sends her thanks for all the cards she has received.

For myself, I am not adapting as well as Edna is. The intricacies of the microwave still alternately puzzle and astound me. When one’s ‘cooking’ ability has been limited to making coffee and scrambling eggs (I also am adept at opening cans!), fending for one’s self is an experience. Of course the generosity of friends and relatives has furnished me with several very easy ‘to prepare’ meals (heat and eat). While suffering from a case of anxiety occasionally the conversation, advice and encouragement has been a God-send. Thanks to all for everything offered, both mental and physical (rides, help in the yard, etc.) and words of encouragement.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN one to pay a lot of attention to, or watch, political conventions BUT this year’s Republican Convention coming up shortly may be an exception! With Donald Trump the presumed IR candidate, I am curious to see if another candidate does not ‘come out of nowhere’ to challenge the biggest Political Joke since Jesse Ventura. It is hard to believe that there are enough foolish people out there to elect the bigoted, insulting blow-hard that the IR party is (presumably) offering as their candidate for the 2016 election!

ALMOST AS HARD TO BELIEVE is the unexplained demise of the Twins! After improving last season, and then doing so well in Spring Training their play during the regular season has been a complete surprise --- to me at least. They have fallen apart in nearly every category---from hitting to base-running to fielding and to both the starting and relief pitching. The only bright spots appear to be Nunez, Max Kepler and Robbie Grossman. Injuries have played a small part in the fall-off but every team has them so that cannot be offered as an excuse. Hopefully Molitor can right the team soon...

DID YOU KNOW: “Dammit I’m Mad” spelled backwards is “Dammit I’m Mad”?

I REALIZE YOU SHOULD not speak ill of those who have passed on. (I also wrote several articles on the same subject when the man was alive.) But . . . to me the so-called Ali was little more than a draft-dodging coward. When he was called to be inducted into the Army during the Viet Nam War: He changed his religion; He changed his name; He refused to report (for induction) on the grounds of ‘conscientious objector’; He was sentenced to prison for five years and fined $10,000. (I think he served only one year) and was treated by many as a ‘hero’ when he returned to boxing. Granted, he was a great boxer, maybe one of the best ever. But, right or wrong, to me he will always be a notorious draft dodger . . .

I GUESS WE AMERICANS do not ‘have a corner’ on the transgender debate. In Canada the lower House of Parliament voted to tweak the words to their national anthem so that it is ‘gender neutral’. The bill moves to the Senate. Currently, “O Canada” contains the words ‘true patriot love, in all thy sons command’. It would be replaced with ‘in all of us command’.

AS SOME OF US ARE IN training for the September Lions Bike-a-Thon, our Lady Lions (who are riding) owe a huge debt of gratitude to one Margaret Guroff, author of “The Mechanical Horse: How the Bicycle Reshaped American Life.” Quoting from the article: “Feminist reformers had long derided the organ-pinching corsets worn by proper Victorian women, but it wasn’t until bike riding caught on at the turn of the 20th century that women started shedding them en masse. When the bicycle appears and it looks like so much fun and it’s this amazing way to get around, women begin to wear looser underwear that they could breathe in” Guroff says. The article goes on to say (in part): “Before the 1890s, most ads merely listed an item’s price and availability. Bike ads were among the first to claim that buying something could improve your life --- by (for instance) helping you get a date, or impressing the neighbors. Our consumer culture that’s persisted through the 20th century was fostered by the bicycle industry.” So there, Ladies, enjoy the bicycle and the bike riding even more because it was one of the main reasons for freeing you from ’binding undergarments’!

I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO catch the replay (on the news) of the recent game between Toronto and Texas. The right hand punch thrown by Rangers’ Roughened Odor was probably the hardest punch I have seen thrown in any athletic contest other than a boxing match! It completely flattened the larger, heavier Bautista of the Blue Jays. Most such athletic fights are only shoving, half-hearted punches and wrestling by the combatants but Odor’s’ right would have made many a boxer proud! The ensuing fight resulted in six players being ejected from the game. I have seen many fights in hockey games over the past 50 years but never a punch that landed as hard, and as squarely, as the one that flattened Bautista. It was a doozy . . .

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER strange things going on that I do not even have room to ridicule or complain about Pres. Obama or other politicians. Altho I do think Gov. Dayton has talked himself into a corner and will come to regret some of his recent comments and decisions.

IT IS HARD TO BELIEVE that our so-called ‘civilized world’ has such an ancient custom. In Pakistan, thirteen members of a tribal council strangled a girl to death and set her body on fire for helping one of her friends elope . . .

THE LATEST ‘UP TO DATE’ improvement at JFK Airport in New York, where they have installed restrooms for your pets, complete with a red fire hydrant and artificial turf! The ‘pet relief facility’ allows service and guide dogs, emotional support animals and pets traveling with their owners to relieve themselves without leaving the airport.

THEN WE GO TO Rohta, India where they have a ‘Bovine Beauty Pageant’! Hundreds of cows and bulls walked the ramp in a north Indian town Saturday in a bovine beauty pageant. As farmers led their animals, the panel of experts judged the beasts for their size and overall looks, the length of their horns and, for the cows, their milk-yielding capacities. The winning beast wore a sash rather than a tiara . . .

ON A MORE TRAGIC NOTE: The world’s oldest cat has died ---a Siamese in Mansfield, Texas went to his heavenly home on April 8th. The Siamese cat had observed his 30th birthday on March 26. ‘Scooter’ had lived to the equivalent of 136 human years, according to a local veterinarian.

TWO WELL-KNOWN QUOTES: * “Stairway to Heaven” * “Highway to Hell” Nowhere can I find the answer as to which route has the most traffic...

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