Schneid Remarks

Ice 1 - Schneid 0. Ice 2 - Schneid 0. Actually probably Ice 3 - Schneid 0 as far as I can count. Ice has defeated me three times.

After slipping on the ice three times over the course of the holiday season, I have been diagnosed with a dislocated knee cap on my right knee.

This isn't something I am unfamiliar with, having suffered one a number of years ago when a couple of friends of mine were wrestling and took me out at the knees while I wasn't looking.

So  how to handle the dislocated knee cap is something I have had some practice with, but this was nearly a decade ago.I was much younger and much lighter, not much lighter, but lighter nonetheless.

Both of these factor into how I am treating this current malady.

Think about not being able to put your full weight on either knee. And if you can, think of the pain you have to endure when doing so.

I was fitted with a brace last Friday, which seems to help.

But it still doesn't eliminate all of the problems which are attached to this dislocation.

Basically what has happened is my knee cap wants to slide off the knee, making things very painful.

The brace attempts to hold the knee cap in place, but the swelling I have on my knee right now makes wearing the brace very painful. Only time will take care of the swelling.

With the help of crutches, I can walk at a snail's pace. I won't be running any marathons any time soon. As if I would if I didn't have this injury.

The weekend has been interesting, trying to figure out what I can and cannot do with the least amount of pain.

I start off every morning rolling myself out of bed. I grab the crutches, or crutch in some cases, and head to my pharmacy. The Schneider pharmacy is located on top of the microwave in the kitchen.

I am already taking pills for a couple of other things, with the latest pills being for gout, which I have suffered with for years.I thought this whole knee thing might have been gout related, but unfortunately not.

So every morning I lay out the eight to ten pills I need to start my day. With these pills, a couple bottles say take with food. Well, that isn't helping my weight problem, but I guess I 

will do what the pill bottle says. I then decide whether or not I feel good enough to walk around a bit, or if I am going to hunker down in front of the TV.

There are two problems with this scenario. First, I don't want to put any added pressure on the knee, and or second knee, which is now sore because it is doing the bulk of the work while the other knee is hurt.

The second is once I am on the couch I struggle to get off of it. When you need your knees to push off to get up, having one that works and the other that doesn't makes things interesting.

I think trying to elevate myself out of the chair might have aggravated the injury this weekend so I have been very careful in my up and down off the couch.

My wife and son have helped pull my carcass off the couch, but that helps a little bit but not much.

I have now found a way to start from the floor, twist my body, and push off the couch. Hard to explain but it can be done with minimal pain.

Sunday I navigated around with the help of crutches, which are highly underrated.

I have had crutches in the house for years, never thinking I would use them. Thank goodness I didn't chuck them out the door during the city-wide clean-up.

My patience level with things out of the norm is frustrating for me. So not being able to just jump in the car and drive or dance to MTV videos has been a struggle.

Just walking down the stairs, getting in and out of the car, and situating myself in the most comfortable position at my desk at work, is starting to wear on me.

I am sure my family is tired of hearing me complain or groan and moan trying to find a comfortable position just to watch TV or get in the vehicle.

I do have to say my family has been very supportive during my mishap.

They are also praying it doesn't snow or get icy during the next few days while I try and recover. Clumsiness may be my downfall. Lo and behold I wrote this column on Monday and what do we wake up to 

Tuesday? The iciest day of the year. UGH. I can't win.

I feel pretty good today because I did get a prayer from the area weather guy, Royal Myers. He blessed me so I am sure the rest of the day  (or week) will go without me falling.

Other than the pain and being uncomfortable, the worst thing is I am unable to tie my own shoes.

Jayne and Jayson have taken over those duties. I knew sooner or later I would need to buy velcro shoes. Maybe later is now sooner for me.

For now, I am keeping things pretty low key. I am not a sedentary person. I am now forcing myself to be.

The doctor said there is really nothing you can do about the knee except try and strengthen the other parts of the knee area and the leg.

Hopefully I will be crutchless soon. As much as I need them I really do want to get rid of them.

Being fat, old, and injured is not a fun place to be.