Schneid Remarks 1/27/22

I was venturing back through some of my first columns and came across this Schneid Remarks from 1990 when I worked at the Waseca County News. I actually thought it was quite funny.

I wrote this column about the art of refereeing basketball, something which I have always had a frustration with. Since playing high school and college basketball, and now reporting on the sport, I have grown to appreciate what referees have to go through.

Doesn’t mean I always agree with every call - but I can see where things might not look the same to those in the stands as it does to those with the whistles.

I wrote a little poem which signified my feelings toward the game and how, oh so many times, I have gotten fouled without the whistle being blown. Pretty sure refs had it out for me…Well maybe not. Please enjoy one of my first published poems from three decades ago.

ODE to the Referee

By Jay Schneider

As I walk into the gym and get ready to play; I wonder which referee will walk through the door that day.

To me it doesn’t matter if he is good or bad; but I can tell you one way or the other that most of his calls won’t make me glad.

The game starts off fine with not a major call; but then again I have yet to touch the game ball.

I finally get my chance and I take my first shot; thought I was fouled but the official said not.

The game continues on with a furious pace; but it seems as if the whistle is stuck in the official’s face.

Throughout the first half the referee has always been right; on every call he has made in the game that night.

The reason for perfection is easy to figure out; the referee has yet to blow the whistle in his mouth.

I went up for a jumper and I know I got hacked; but what does the official do, he just turns his back.

This lack of a foul call really starts to bug me; so what did I do, I called him a dummy.

At that point in the game I was assessed my first foul; not a regular infraction but the dreaded technical foul.

This technical was silly, I didn’t deserve it; the ref should have just told me to button my lip.

As the game continued on I continued my pleading; I was called for another foul because a player was bleeding.

With the game coming to a very quick close, I took another shot and got hit in the nose.

The official just smiled and said ‘say one word;’ and after I did there was only one thing I heard.

The sound of the whistle which meant only one thing; I was kicked out of the game and would be on the bench sitting.

How could a guy be thrown out of the game; when all that he did was use the official’s name in vain.

I don’t understand officials at all; but what it all comes down to is they usually make the right call.

So if you see me at a game complaining and starting the whine; all you officials have to do is give me a technical and tell me to go take the pine.

THANK YOU All officials!!!